Ok y'all. I actually practiced what I preached by getting a job where I can write and work at the same time. I greet you from a university library at an undisclosed location. Finally months of money stress has been vanquished by thoughts of a pending paycheck. Huzzah!
When I was going through the money stress, my focus was off kilter. I had just finished writing my first book, Python Jinn Warrior. I wanted to edit it so badly but my mo-jo just wasn't working. I couldn't figure out why. Now looking back I understand. I was pressuring myself to complete work in order to submit it for publication to make money. Big mistake. I'm glad I didn't make myself slog through it.
Why? Doing something creative, simply out of motivation for a check is a bad idea. Especially if the individual is a "pure artist" (If there is such a thing. I don't claim to be one. I'm tainted and I love it!!!). It's one thing to go to your nine to five to get a check to pay the bills so your kids have a roof over their heads and the golden retriever can get his rabies shots. It's a whole other thing to write a song with the specific intent to make a hit. It might be a hit, but there won't be any heart in it. And chances are that hit will be a one hit wonder with no lasting impression on the art form. A person has to create simply because they want to. The act in creation itself brings joy. If one uses creative work as a tool to attract something else, very rarely does joy come out of it.
If we look at great artists over the spectrum of time, all of them had one thing in common. They created not to impress people or because it was a fast way to make a buck. They created because they loved the medium they were working in. Whether they painted, danced, sang or wrote, they used their art form as a means to express themselves. Some made money at it, some didn't. But regardless of that, they did the work because they were compelled to. That's what made them great.
In the past couple of years I was in college, finally finishing up my bachelors. I got sucked into this mode of completing work for the end result- a grade, a deadline, whatever. Now that I'm out of school, I found that writing with the notion in my mind that I had to finish in order to achieve some other end result- publication, royalties, bragging rights, or whatever- was sucking my creative mind dry.
Don't get me wrong. I like money. A lot. But I don't like it more than sitting down with some paper and writing a scary story about wealthy people secretly paying homage to imagined spirits by spilling their children's blood. See? You can't put a dollar in my ear to get a story line like that. That's pure fun filled imagination at work, motivating me to entertain myself. If I snag you and your best friend along the way, well, I'm happy I could entertain you.
It took me a while to reorder my thinking back to writing for the sheer pleasure of it. I'm glad I made it back though. I wrote so much I actually gave myself a carpel tunnel attack in my left hand. I took that as a good sign that I'm actually progressing with some of my plans. That's the writer's perpetual fear- the haunting idea that not enough work is being completed during the course of the day. Looking back on the past month I can honestly say I edited two poem, wrote two songs, two short stories, a poetry review article, a one act play and made some business connections. Not too bad. I'm warming up.
Now that I'm able to take a step back from the work and look at it as an end in itself, not a means to an end, it is a lot easier for me to finish work, which gives me something to work with when I DO want to submit to make money. It's funny how that works. God's got some twisted jokes I tell ya. I'm laughing though. Now that I've had time to let the book air out , more like 3 I am almost ready to tackle editing it. Throwing a dash of action here, a dollop of blood there. In fact, I want to amp the thing up to be 1000 times crazier than it was before. It's easy for me to envision those descriptions now because I'm thinking about the agony of my characters, not the agony of my wallet.
Still I have this vague feeling that is not how all writers work. There have got to be some screenwriters who work on deadlines and the like. How the hell do they make it? I'd love to hear what some of you other writers think. Drop me a note on how you keep your perspective when walking the narrow line between money and creating.
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